


It Can Only Go Uphill From Here

by Jonana



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonana/pseuds/Jonana
Summary: Lloyd’s dealt with some sucky stuff, and all he can do is hope. (My work for Ninjago Angst Week, since I didn’t memorize any of the themes)
Kudos: 32





	It Can Only Go Uphill From Here

Lloyd doesn’t remember much before his time in Darkley’s. Mostly just puzzles and books on quiet evenings spent with a woman he barely knew. Then, those days ended, and the years he spent in boarding school— five, he thinks— were a nightmare and a trainwreck, trying to catch the attention of a father whose morals were… skewed.

He missed those days, believe it or not, when he hoped it could only get better.

It didn’t.

Well, that’s not totally true. After he ran away, he just so happened to bump into four other trainwrecks, now part of what he could call his family. (Lloyd, of course, didn’t appreciate the circumstances then. They were just a handful of jerks who hung him on a street sign by his hood.)

For… hours. Lloyd wouldn’t say he was traumatized, or anything, but he thought about it from time to time. It was a cold night and he was starved. He’d waited until bright hours for someone to help him down, and none of the other ninja ever talked about it.

But it was fine. None of that compared to what happened with the Serpentine.

He— as a kid, still— had gone from tomb to tomb looking for something to call a… family? Lloyd didn’t know then. But, he didn’t get any of that. The Hypnobrai left him, as well as the Fangpyre, and don’t even get him started on Pythor.

Lloyd wasn’t proud of that. He should’ve known better than to open the stupid tombs, and he’d learned his lesson.

Then, his uncle had— for lack of a better word— kidnapped him and thrown him onto the Bounty with five other people he despised. One of them wasn’t a ninja, actually. Nya was pretty nice, and he’d die before he admitted she warmed him up to the idea of staying. When the others weren’t on board for him to bug, he’d chill with her. She’d take him around the ship and teach him how to steer it, and when he got bored with that Nya would let him be her assistant, of sorts, while she repaired different things. He used to find it boring, but after a while it was almost comforting.

Eventually, Lloyd warmed up to the ninja as well. Zane kept him out of trouble, and Cole was pretty cool. Jay would always play video games with him when the others weren’t up to it, and there was always this tender feeling when Kai ruffled his hair, like he cared for him.

Crazy, he knew.

Until Lloyd got himself into another mess. More cold, hungry nights— but this time spent in a cage, laughed at, behind long, scaly faces he used to believe would accept him. Luckily, Pythor and the rest of the Serpentine had left him behind again at the first hint of danger, leaving him free for the ninja to save.

Lloyd had latched onto Kai so tightly that night, his only key out of the blisteringly hot volcano. Kai had gripped him just as fast, assuring him that he wouldn’t be left behind again, as the kid buried his face into the fire ninja’s chest.

Even more absurd, after the amount of time Lloyd spent hating him.

He wished he could unsee the hurt in Kai’s face when they next discovered that Lloyd, of all people, was destined to be the Green Ninja, a title he had coveted since he first started training. Kai brushed it off, of course, insistent that the merit wasn’t for him.

Then Lloyd started training. His muscles were beyond sore at that time, after days of preparing for… what? The day he had to face his father. He remembered being so scared of that, unsure on what it even meant. Did he have to lock him up? Strip him of his power? Kill him?

He didn’t know, but he couldn’t stop training. The others were so encouraging, they were counting on him. Lloyd was just a kid.

Until the day he wasn’t. Tea, potion, whatever it was— he wasn’t ten years old anymore. He could’ve been fourteen, sixteen, twenty and he wouldn’t have known. He still looked young, at least, so he was gunning for the first option.

At least the others made him laugh, try and make the situation look less serious than it actually was. Jay would tease him about how his voice still squeaked, how he struggled to walk on legs twice as long as they were before. Lloyd tried his best to act as mature as he looked, but nothing really changed, and Kai still ruffled his hair.

Months passed, brimmed with battles and early morning training sessions. Then, the day finally came. The day to face his father.

It was lengthy and slow, and destructive to Lloyd’s mental health, but long story short, he did it. Garmadon was defeated, the Overlord was purged (yeah… another long story), but his dad made it out unharmed, in the end, completely free of snake venom, demon blood, dark power… whatever made him evil in the first place.

The world had been thrown in their faces, but Lloyd and his team had reigned victories. Lives were changed, and the city was nearly in ruins, but the smiles on everyone’s faces distracted from that for a while, if only a little bit. Kai slung an arm over Lloyd’s shoulder as the sun peeked out from the remaining clouds, reflecting off relieved expressions and bright eyes.

Lloyd grinned, surprised at how easy it was to do that now.

Lloyd was choking on his own tears.

He... he didn’t know how to react, other than to mourn. He felt ashamed he didn’t see it coming. Zane had been so innocent, so kind, yet he suffered an excruciating end at the hands of a cruel world.

His friend— no, brother— had sacrificed his own life for countless others, and the universe gave him no mercy for it. Lloyd could still see him hovering, his heart shattering into millions of icy pieces, every time he closed his eyes. He couldn’t forget the awful scream they heard as the Nindroid’s veins froze, his power source overloading from the surge.

It had been weeks. Lloyd was curled up against the wall of some room they’d rented, in whatever apartment they could afford and wasn’t blown to bits. Only three people, other than him, still stayed here. Kai had distanced himself from the others and disappeared long ago, and Jay had left recently to stay with his parents. That left Nya, Cole, and his Uncle Wu.

Lloyd was the only one who still cried every night. Even Jay had stopped by then. The others had suffered in their own ways, silently for the most part, but that wasn’t always the case. He was sure he’d caught Cole teary-eyed on the day it happened.

His throat made an awful noise then, as he took another breath. His face was red and the blonde hair in front of his eyes was wet, but Lloyd couldn’t see anything in the dark room. Until the darkness was pierced by an orange light from the hall, brought by someone opening his door.

He didn’t look up, instead hiding his face in his knees. The figure walked over to him and sat down, the bigger, warmer body telling him it had to be Cole. The earth ninja lifted a hand and started slowly rubbing circles on the younger ninja’s back.

Lloyd jumped up suddenly and hugged Cole, without a word, and instantly started sobbing into his shoulder. Cole hugged him back, his grip firm, but comforting.

He didn’t know how many more nights it would take before this changed. He just had to hope it would get better.

“No one is taking my staff! You had all that power. Now it’s my turn!”

Lloyd took a shaky step back as Kai pointed an accusing finger at him. There was a terrifying frenzy in the fire ninja’s eyes, reflecting the reckless fire he’d always possessed, but this time, it was different. Kai sounded unusually bitter, his voice sharper than it had ever been around Lloyd.

In his hand was the dangerous and infinitely powerful Staff of Elements, with a Chronosteel handle that curved like a snake, and on top a Blue Crystal set inside the skull of a Serpentine. Various colors and lights flashed from inside the gem, displaying the many— too many— elements trapped inside. All at Kai’s disposal.

How he’d gotten into this situation was a story for another day, but let’s say they were in a place where Lloyd wasn’t able to run. Deep underground, in a large cave belonging to a despicable man called Chen. Their buddy Zane, believe it or not, was alive, rebuilt from entirely new metals. But that wasn’t what he was worrying about, at the moment.

Lloyd frowned at what Kai had said before, wondering if it was something the staff had made up, or if his brother truly meant it. Surely not. Kai couldn’t have been jealous of power, now, could he? No. This had to be corruption.

Kai had said something as he thought, something quiet, but Lloyd didn’t hear it. Next, though, as if he was answering the Green Ninja’s question, “Nothing I don’t already feel!”

He did mean it? The hostility had returned to his voice, and Kai’s words were stinging like venom.

Chen only egged him on from his side of the room. “Yes, yes. Embrace the power!”

Kai’s eyes were suddenly wide with fright. “I can’t… I can’t control it.” But, as quickly as it came, he gripped the staff fiercely. “I don’t want to control it. I should have been the Green Ninja!”

The realization hit Lloyd like an arrow to the chest, and he didn’t have time to be angry before the staff was knocked out of Kai’s hands and the moment was gone. Later, when all adrenaline from their battle was gone, and Kai had discovered what he’d done, his brother had started sputtering apologies. Lloyd had dismissed him almost instantly, telling him that he wasn’t in his right mind and insisting he hadn’t taken it to heart.

Because it was true, right? Kai was his big brother. He’d never let Lloyd down or hurt him, especially for something as trivial as being the Green Ninja.

Lloyd hadn’t been this hungry in years. He was skinnier, and his eyes were dark and heavy from days without sleep. He shivered, wrapping his arms around himself to try and keep his stomach’s threats of snacking on the surrounding organs at bay.

Yet again, he found himself in a cold, Vengestone cage, this one hung from the ceiling of a large den. Lloyd lifted his head gingerly, trying his best to move as little as possible in order to look below him.

Morro was ranting down there, using Ronin’s body, the only sign being the glowing green aura surrounding the older man that one could only recognize if they were looking for it. The other ghosts were recording him, setting up for a trap that the ninja were sure to fall for.

Lloyd grimaced, sharing a bit of pity for Ronin. He knew what it was like to be manipulated. Morro was harsh and powerful, even violent at times, and it was hard to fight his possession. Lloyd had been doing it for a week.

He wished the ninja were here. He wished a lot of things, like how he begged Kai to save him, but he knew that couldn’t happen. Not easily, at least. Lloyd and Morro had been sharing thoughts, minds, and if he was being honest… he was scared.

The Green Ninja, terrified out of his own mind. And Morro knew that.

Kai had promised to protect him.

“With my dad gone, sometimes I question where I’m going,” Lloyd said on that pier, before any of this happened. He sighed. “Sometimes I worry about who I might become.”

The fire ninja furrowed his brow, his lip pursing in concern and sympathy. “I know how that feels. After I lost my dad, I lost my way. But I was lucky to have my sister watch over me.” Kai smiled. “Don’t worry, big shot. I’ll watch over you from now on.” The older ninja reached over to playfully ruffle the blonde’s hair, and Lloyd giggled.

Lloyd sighed softly, in order to not catch any of the ghouls’ attentions, and leaned his head against the bars of his cage. He’d love for Kai to ruffle his hair now. In fact, he’d go for any kind of affection at the moment, after being abused and touch-starved for an entire, painful week.

“It’s a wrap!” Ghoultar finished below him.

The rest of the ghosts roared as Morro released Ronin of his possession. The older man fell to his knees just as Morro hovered in the air, clutching his stomach as he laughed, his dark hair floating eerily in long strands.

Ronin groaned, struggling to stand. “Pretty good impersonation,” he mumbled, “but they’ll never buy it was me.”

“We shall see.” Morro sneered, the dimples in his soft cheeks depicting how young he really was.

Lloyd gripped the bars in front of him with a sudden strength, and pulled himself forward. “You’re no Green Ninja,” he berated, as loudly as his voice would allow. “The Green Ninja would never need to lie!”

Morro’s attention snapped to him, that ugly, smug smile still on his face. “Oh, you won’t be the Green Ninja for long. Save your strength, because I’ll be needing it.” He turned to the others, and continued, “Prepare for a voyage. We head to the tomb at dawn.”

Lloyd let go, curling back in on himself after being too weak to move much more. He ignored what the ghosts said next, and closed his eyes, desperately begging for sleep.

Dumb Morro. He wished this was over, that this psychotic, edgy undead teen never came to him for the green gi in the first place. Lloyd had been in rough situations, through hard times, but he’d never missed home as much as he did then.

But there was nothing he could do. He just had to close his eyes, block out the world, and hope that it would get better.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this is alright, since I don’t write angst much. Also my first work on this website! Hopefully I didn’t do it wrong hnjdhfk


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